Accountability: Long Term Damage
A truth: Accountability doesn't stop with acknowledging that you have a responsibility for your actions. Not even with admitting that those actions have consequences.
Because "sorry" doesn't fix everything, and trust is swiftly lost and often extremely difficult to earn back...with the ghosts of "error" haunting whatever relationship is at stake.
Even if you have done everything to "right" the error, to repair the relationship, and build a system to prevent its recurrence, sometimes that is just not enough. The frustration of being human and making mistakes can even bring you to the point of pleading with whomever you wronged to, "just get over it," as you've apologized, and it seems to you that all this groveling has been enough.
Alas, trust just doesn't work that way.
Often a wrong, which might seem small to you, is actually a bigger part of a bigger history for whoever is holding onto the issue without the ability to find their way to trust you again. This means an error can break the bank, causing irreparable damage, regardless of your own perception of what is "appropriate" effort and diligence to regain a working or trusting relationship again.
This does not mean you are expected to wade in the deep end of the pool of shame forever, nor be endlessly indebted to the person you have attempted to make amends with. If an apology is not accepted, regardless of how you feel about it, you cannot force your way back into the good graces or trust once it is broken without the cooperation of the other party involved. This means sometimes, you need to leave the relationship or situation for the good of all involved.
It is not appropriate for you to be the "fall guy" of every error or mistrust to precede you. If you have owned a mistake, and that apology isn't "good enough" because of the other person's historical relationship or issues, it may be a good time to consider an exit strategy from the relationship for the better health of all.
If it is a relationship not so easily extractable, such as a co-worker or family member, perhaps a time of distance is best to allow both parties to collect themselves and work through their own issues at hand. If it ends up driving an edge of frequently unworkable animosity into the mix, perhaps more than mere distance is needed. Maybe it's time to look for a new job, book some time with a therapist, and/or make a specific decision to release that person from your life in another way.
Accountability means taking responsibility for your actions, yes, but also for the life you choose to lead, the people you choose to surround yourself with, the places you work and play, and the energy you bring with you and extend outward into the world.
We all make mistakes. One of them, at some point, might catch you off guard because it seemed much smaller than it is. You may have pressed something beyond repair without meaning to. You may have to acknowledge the extent of that misstep at some point and choose to move past the cycle of a scratched record of apology on repeat and simply move on.